All we can say is, finally, as unconventional dating and sex became more popular after the pandemic. It’s reassuring to see polyamory, kink, and other types of connection develop in a society where social conventions can be problematic. One of the most accepting safe spaces for folks who live unconventionally is now run by Ana Kirova, CEO of inclusive dating app Feeld. Prepare yourself for the best love tale you’ve ever heard if you’re curious about how it started.
Before Feeld was born, Kirova recognised her attraction to women. Given that she is in a heterosexual relationship, this presented a significant problem because it is uncommon to find a play-by-play for people who are dating when looking for information on coming out. But she made the decision to tell her spouse about her ongoing development, and she received love in return. He became aware that she was going through a transition and started to plan how he might support her.
His response? He essentially wrote a love letter to Ana and people like her by developing a dating app. He is, in fact, an f-cking genius. The journey Ana was about to go on was reminiscent of the journey many people are currently going through post-pandemic, which brought to mind the existential crises we were having about sex and love in the middle of the quarantine.
You’re actually in a good place if you’re in the same situation as me. These are normal life transitions, whether you’re learning that you adore kink or that you’d like to practise polyamory.
Read on for our discussion with Ana about how to transition safely while utilising the most welcoming dating app we’ve ever seen.
We enjoyed reading about your partner’s encouragement when you came out. How did you both modify your shared basic principles without making your relationship strained?
I wish I could claim it didn’t put a strain on our bond, but it wouldn’t be the truth. What matters more is how we handle these stressful situations that put our relationship to the test. It has always been and still is done by checking in and talking. Making sure we are content, looking for areas where we can assist one another more, and determining if there is anything we are doing that is upsetting or hurting the other and how to investigate and address that. In the end, we both genuinely believe in our relationship and want it to succeed, thus we opt to
How can you and your partner deal with jealousy in a constructive way? Do you have any advice for beginners on how to handle this?
I’d like to start by stating my opinion that envy is common, significant, and usually always inevitable. The issue isn’t with the feeling; rather, it’s with how we handle it. The best advise I can provide is probably to approach jealously with curiosity. Consider what the feeling is trying to tell you. For instance, it can be a hint that your partner needs to take better care of you or it might be a period of anxiety and uncertainty. It could also be a sense of acquired ownership. In any case, debating it with an open mind has been one of the most illuminating and impactful experiences.
What relationship advice do you think people who are switching from conventional to non-traditional modes of connection should pay the most attention to?
Communicate frequently and widely. Discreetly inquire, “How do you feel?” or “How did this make you feel.” It’s amazing how infrequently we really use this language. Always keep in mind that transitions take time, effort, and patience from both you and everyone else involved. Learning as much as you can about these different arrangements can really help you develop a picture of what you’re getting into, whether you’re already in a relationship or have made the decision to start investigating them on your own. Once you’ve heard some first-hand accounts of how other people have handled this, you’ll feel more at ease. Finding a group of people with similar interests is also quite beneficial.
Does Feeld have a most popular relationship type that users search for?
CNM is one of the most common types of relationships that people list in their online accounts (consensual non-monogamy). By design, Feeld is an inclusive environment. You can sign up alone or with a partner, and if you sign up together, you can link your accounts. Due to this, many couples in conventional relationship structures have gone to Feeld to actively explore consensual non-monogamy and go on dates. Because there are so many chances for unorthodox structures, I would argue that variations of CNM are what most people use Feeld for.
What are some excellent first date ideas for those meeting for the first time in an unusual setting?
A few years ago, Caroline Giuliani wrote a beautiful article in which she discussed her experiences dating couples and made the excellent point that, when going on a date with three people, you should always pick a location with round tables. If you sit across from each other, it’s a simple approach to break up what could feel a lot like an interview.
It’s crucial, in my opinion, to not put yourself under strain. Instead of assuming that a date should look a certain way, look for what feels good. Maybe it will be a walking date or a picnic in the park. Or even a pastime, such as a climbing course or hot
Exploring unorthodox sex and dating might make people anxious since it is uncharted territory. When navigating this unfamiliar environment, are there any warning signs to be aware of?
Pay attention to the signals that your body sends you. And I do admit that is much easier said than done. We are not taught how to pay attention to what our bodies are telling us. But it’s crucial to be in touch with one’s self in this way while venturing into uncharted territory, particularly when it comes to pleasure and sexuality. Fear is a symptom that there is an unknown when it is triggered. That is an excellent time to stop and consider what might be hidden. It’s crucial to really follow your interest, and having faith in your